Number 9 -- Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 8 -- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 7--- Men have two emotions : Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 6 --- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 5 -- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 3 -- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 -- Why does a slight tax increase cost you $800.00, and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
Number 2 -- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The Number 1 Thought -- Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers--what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow. -- and as someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age--it doesn't last that long".
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